


At Least It Wasn't My Heart.

by Queens_Lynn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Because he is a moron, Fix-It, I don't blame Bucky, M/M, Not Steve- friendly, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark is awesome, Tony-centric, almost, he is my favourite, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:58:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7580695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queens_Lynn/pseuds/Queens_Lynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tony is awesome. He survives the civil war, carries on and does what he does best- fix and improve. He moves forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Least It Wasn't My Heart.

**Author's Note:**

> So I need to do this. My rant. I realized as I keep trying to focus on other things, get out of my Tony-centric mind. I keep rereading fma fanfiction and I'm still raging so here it is. Fucking civil war.

Two minutes.Tony gives himself two minutes to think. About what a fuck up this whole situation was. About how he could have done better. About how he failed the Avengers again. About how if he just got Ste- Ro- Him to listen to his point. About how if he had explained the situation to Wanda herself rather then leaving it to Vision. About how he could have talked to a different member of team Captain bloody Fucking America.

But also what if He had just listened. What if He had just trusted him with the Zemo situation, Tony did prove he would go even with the accords, that shows He was wrong- right?

He thinks about the shield and the destroyed arm. About his arc reactor, at least it wasn't his heart still.  
He takes a breath and pushes himself up on to his elbows, gasping in pain as his left arm burns with pain. Broken, okay. At least it wasn't my heart, he thinks.

It takes twenty minutes to get out of the suit. It's heavy without the powered hydraulics for one thing but also he has to go very slowly as to not upset his injuries, he's sure at least one of his ribs is broken. He leaves the suit on his broken arm as to serve as a splint and drags the suit down to the main entryway.  
He scavenges for parts and makeshift tools to fix the back-up power banks, the reactor is beyond fixable and he chokes on air, reminding himself it is no longer the key to his survival.  
It takes ten hours but finally the suit can be partially powered on meaning the suit is still mostly dead weight but he can fly out of this place of death.  
-  
T'Challa stars to get angsty after two hours. He has picked up Zemo, Barnes and Rogers and they are in his get, flying to Wakanda. He expects to have heard from a Tony by now, he has no idea what happened in the bunker but he is sure his husband would have contacted him by then, would have told him what was happening. Unless he was dead.  
He shakes his head, banning those thoughts, Rogers had told him Tony was fine. Then why wasn't he calling?

It is two days later he gets the call, Barnes wants to go back into cryo, Romanoff has showed up and they are planning a RAFT breakout. The phone rings, the opening to Black Sabbath's Iron Man playing (Tony had changed it after that ridiculous press conference as a joke, it was never changed back). T'Challa blows out a breath and rushes out of the conference room the four were sitting in, answering the call straight away so none of them would recognize the song (and therefore the caller).  
"Tony, are you okay?" He breathes.  
"I'm good Kitty, a little banged up, I would have called sooner but it's been so busy, explaining my actions to everyone. I already have the first set of amendments ready to put through, I've started improving the leg braces SI medical sell so Rhodey can actually walk, I've been collecting proof of Ross's illegal activities but it won't be useful for another couple of months, someone issued a statement about Germany but nobody knows about Siberia, it's gonna stay that way. Natasha is gone, she's probably coming to you by the way," Tony rambles madly.  
"Have you slept at all? You always ramble and rush your sentences when you're sleep deprived," T'Challa notes.  
"Oh not really, I tried but woke up pretty quickly, I'll tell you later, I can't keep it to myself, I've already explained to Rhodey, he woke up yesterday but this is just a check in, I'll video call you when it's cooled down a bit, may be about a week though," Tony tells him.  
"Okay, I'll look forward to it," T'Challa says, feeling a bit defeated, he can't even help his husband in his time of need.  
"UN meetings resume in a month, I'll have the first amendments through by then, have fun breaking the others out," Tony says and hangs up.  
T'Challa goes back into the meeting room to questioning gazes.  
"Who was that?" Asked Rogers.  
"My husband," T'Challa answers.  
"What was the rush about?" Barnes asks, squinting.  
"He hasn't called in a few days, he's been dealing with a family emergency and I worry," T'Challa tells him. He knows Romanoff and Barnes are searching for a lie and while knowing he could fool them, it is easier not to by keeping it vague. He marriage to Tony is a huge secret (that the whole of Wakanda knows of but they're a closed country and very loyal with the secret).  
-  
Tony sprints through the next four months, it's a rush of putting Ross on hold, moving the Bartons and Lang's family to secure locations, smashing the phone He sends him, moving Rhodey and Vision back into the tower, pushing for accords amendments, making deals with the NYPD for Spiderman, turning the old headquarters into an inhuman school and training base, making improvements to the braces while watching Rhodey's physical therapy, meetings for everything and trying to call T'Challa as much as he can. He is sleep deprived to the max, every time he closes his eyes he dreams of Barnes hand around his mother's throat, Him slamming the shield down, into his neck, into the arc, when it's still implanted. He dreams of the bunker and those minutes when he just stared at the ceiling and it was cold, so cold. He dreams of Rhodey falling, Natasha telling him to watch his back. He dreams of the cold, death, betrayal and hatred.  
He sees T'Challa once, for a day in the second month, they're at a UN meeting, being political and focused. Then they're sitting in T'Challa's hotel bed and Tony is sobbing, telling him about Siberia. T'Challa growls and holds Tony tighter.  
-  
The fifth month contains their anniversary, Tony spares three days to go to Wakanda, he'll spend them relaxing before he gets rid of Ross and goes back to advancing the Avengers.

T'Challa walks into the living area he gave to the rogue Avengers after he had called a meeting.  
"Has something happened?" Asks Captain, standing at the head of the group.  
"Nothing has happened, I came to inform you that you must stay within the areas designated to your living for the next four days," T'Challa informs then.  
"Why?" Falcon asks.  
"Because I have a guest and while they are aware of you being here, plausible deniability is always useful," is replied. Natasha looks curious and T'Challa makes a note to get one of the Dora Milaje to make sure she follows the instruction.  
Tony comes the day after in his jet, he drives to the castle, waving to the citizens and getting excited.  
Shuri and T'Challa are waiting by the front for him.  
"Tony!" Shuri calls.  
"Hey," he greets them both, giving them a quick hug.  
"How are you feeling?" T'Challa asks.  
"I'm tired," Tony tells him, smiling.  
-  
"Who do you think the guest is?" Asked Clint.  
"It's got to be the husband, it would be the only person he would tell about us who isn't Wakandan or out to arrest us," Natasha states.  
-  
"It's good to be home, my king," Tony purrs, stretching out underneath T'Challa, reaching for a kiss.  
"My queen," T'Challa breaths, Tony laughs.

Tony, T'Challa and Shuri are eating breakfast when one of the Dora Milaje comes in from her post outside the door, relaying the message that Romanoff had tried to enter the rest of the castle.  
"I'm really not surprised," Tony tells them, "she's the kind that has to know everything,"  
"Takes one to know one then?" Shuri quips.  
"I want to know everything valuable, scientific, she needs to know everything about everyone," he tells her.  
"I have a package for Him by the way," Tony adds.  
"What is it?" T'Challa asks, Tony taps his nose.  
"Cryptic," Shuri states.  
"Try to get everyone there when he opens it," Tony tells them, "I'd actually like to see his face but ya know," he shrugs.  
"I could do it today, you could watch over security feed," T'Challa tells him.  
"Yes, Shuri, you can watch with me," Tony cheers.

The box is rather large but not heavy.  
He gathers the rogue Avengers in the living room and they're standing in the same position as they were two days ago. T'Challa can imagine Tony giggling at the image.  
"Has something happened, we  thought you're busy?" Steve asks.  
"No and I would prefer to be with them but a package has come for you, I believe it to be from Tony Stark," T'Challa states, Rogers tenses.  
"Is it safe?" Asks Wanda.  
"I have had it scanned, there is nothing electronic within," the king answers.  
They sit on the sofas and Rogers opens the parcel. There is a letter and his shield.  
"What?" He states blindly and opens the letter.  
_"R- Damn, I can't even write it, never mind._  
_You, are so fucking arrogant it hurts, YOU think YOU know better than 117 countries and I don't even know why after loyally being a SHIELD lapdog, busting me for not trusting them you say that the UN has an objective._  
_Fuck, damn. Just, seriously, they want safety and security. You tell me that I broke up the Avengers when I signed, when it was you who chose to fight. At any point you could have just sat down and talked to the officials about why the accords were wrong but nooo, Captain America is right, as always._  
_You remember when you told me to stop pretending to be a hero? What about now? You fight for America, you fight for what's right, you fight for the little guy, but only when they agree with you. How is that a hero? You want to be allowed to go barging into any country with no warning, without notifying the police or government to fight any threat you have no idea about. You won't let  any other ideas through because you're right. Who's the fucking bully now, dickface?_  
_And Zemo. This is the helicarriers again. Back then it was technical warfare and who's better at coding than me? I know the helicarriers, I could have prevented them from leaving a tarmac but you couldn't see past your dislike for me and your single mindedness that you didn't think and it's happened again._  
_As soon as I got a whiff of Zemo's plan I ran to help you. Now what if before then you had just pulled me round a corner and said 'Tony there's this guy, he set Bucky up with the bombing and he's planning to unleash some more super slaves' but no because it was Bucky's safety and I'm not good enough for Captain America, you didn't even try._  
_I went there to help you but instead I was betrayed._  
_I'm sorry I went after Barnes, and I know logically now that he didn't kill my mother but I had just watched his hands end her life. Do you have any idea what that felt like? I acted like a human, for Christ's sake. Sweet Jesus, damn._  
_It wasn't even that that made the that angry, it was your betrayal. I didn't trust you, like I said during the Ultron debacle, but I would always with important stuff. Like this. That was just it. Also I will say this again but when the scepter got through Ultron, it want necessary, it was nowhere near completion and shouldn't have happened, it wasn't a piece of information that wasn't needed at that moment. But maybe that's what you thought too. But you didn't think about how I blamed Howard and his drink driving for my mother's death for decades, thinking at least she died painlessly. But I was so wrong and now I hate myself more for hating on Howard for more than was necessary, fuck._  
_I said I don't trust people without a dark side and you know, I don't even think this fucking counts. Because you were protecting your friend, the only thing I can say is you were an idiot going about it._  
_I've given you back the shield because I can't stand looking at it. I don't want it around but I still don't think you deserve it, until you get your head on straight and realise what you've done._  
_The only thing your letter apologised for was getting caught. It was a horrible manipulation, made to make me think my actions were wrong._  
_I'll do what I've always done, fix my mistakes. And yours. Don't do something stupid and eventually I'll get you pardoned._  
_I'm working on getting rid of Ross at the moment, he's a dick. Eventually the accords will be better, they already are._  
_To the rest of the morons, don't fucking blame me for the RAFT, if you break the law you go to jail, it's really very simple. but then again we_ _can't all be geniuses._

_You didn't even read the accords._

_Barton, Laura is safe, fucking hell.  I moved her because Ross was looking, he would have found them too, he was real close. She didn't have SHIELD's protection. You were the one that never thought of your family._  
_Wanda, you're going to have to work hard for redemption. I'm sorry I didn't explain the situation to myself, I was busy trying to settle it and I thought as you hate me so much, it would be better coming from Vision. People were scared, they were out for your head, if you had been seen anywhere, you would have been harangued and harassed because no matter what, your intentions, you had just killed people. I didn't know how you would react to that and I didn't want your powers involved. The government were looking for ways to charge you. You were safe inside and that was it._  
_Wilson, congrats for following loyally and Rhodes will recover. I will make him walk again, even in I have to build him a goddamn spine._  
_Romanoff, I'd like my back to remain knife free from now on, I've learnt my lesson. I tried to warn you, got threats, fuck it._  
_Lang, I've recruited the Wasp. She came to me by the way. Hank wanted to know what the fuck had happened to his suit. Hope said she wanted to help and Pym has realised I am not my father._  
_I have something Bucky could use to work through the Hydra programming, ask T'Challa about BARF._  
_I don't need you and never have, I smashed the phone. All the people I need are still with me. My Avengers are getting sorted and we can take down idiots like Doom. However, if the world needs you I'll call T'Challa._  
_It seems I've run out of steam for my rant, I've said all is needed and I hope you actually think about it._  
_At least I can say I got to meet the man worth ten of me."_  
Steve read the letter slowly, Natasha looking over his shoulder. He looked almost pained. When he had finished, he handed it to Natasha who read it out loud. Everyone looked stricken, Wanda at the end just looked defiant.  
"What happened in Siberia, Steve?" Sam asked at the end, even though they had figured most of it out.  
"Tony, he came there to help us. But Zemo had already killed the super soldiers, he said he wanted to rip the Avengers apart and showed us a video. Of the Winter Soldier killing Howard and Maria Stark. Tony asked my if I knew and I couldn't deny it. We fought, I deactivated the armour by destroying the arc reactor and left with Bucky but without my shield," Steve answered in clipped, unsteady sentences.

"Perfect," Tony stated.  
"Are you sure?" Asked Shuri.  
"Yeah, at least he looks a little ashamed," Tony tells her.  
"Did he really say that? That Barnes was worth ten of you?"  
"Not exactly. I told your brother this but when we first met we properly had it out. He asked me what I was outside of the suit. I told him I was a 'genius billionaire philanthropist' and he told me he knew men with none of that worth ten of me,"

"Are you okay, my love?" T'Challa asked later.  
"I'm fine, just tired. I've been so busy," Tony replies.

"I will miss you," Tony states, feeling glum at the airport.  
"As will I, to you," T'Challa tells him.  
"I will call you when I get back, and I'll slow down I promise,"  
-  
A couple of months later when Tony visited the inhuman centre he recruited two of the older members, Donnie and Kamala. They were young, got on well with Peter and fit into training well. Donnie would be allowed on the field as soon as he was probably trained as he wasn't a minor, Kamala would have to wait a year.  
Around that time Tony finally managed to fully integrated the leg braces into the War Machine armour. Tony was ecstatic.  
-  
It took two years to amend the worst of the accords and another four months to get everyone pardoned.  
T'Challa flew the rogue Avengers to the tower in a Wakandan jet, Tony and his Avengers stood on the roof of Avengers tower, waiting.  
Tony stood in the front, Rhodey flanking his left. They fanned out behaving him in a triangle, Vision and Peter first, Hope, Kamala and Donnie stood the furthest back. There was a place right by Tony's right side where T'Challa would stand.  
The Avengers came out of the jet with T'Challa and two of his Dora Milaje in front, T'Challa took his place by Tony's side and the girls guarded the jet. Steve was flanked by Natasha and Sam, the others slightly behind him but close, coming up to stand next to him.  
"Tony," Rogers started, stepping forward, Tony held out a hand to stop him.  
"You will sign the accords and get your formal pardons. Then we will talk," he says.  
They go to a massive conference room, the rogues read and sign the accords, the massive, formal documents, one copy that Tony keeps in his safe in the workshop and one that is kept with the UN members, both have all the other Avengers signatures.

They go to the common floor and sit on the sofas. Tony, still flanked by Rhodey and T'Challa, is practically vibrating with nervousness.  
"I'm sorry about what happened," Rogers starts.  
"No you're not," Tony combats, "you still can't think of any way it could have turned out differently and I don't care, it's over,"  
"I just want things back the way they were," Rogers sighs.  
"You've been here what? Half an hour? I haven't even forgiven you yet and you want things to go back like the last two and a bit years didn't happen? Suck it up and figure out how to function in the new normal," Tony tells him.  
"And what's the new normal?" Natasha drawls.  
"I am the leader of the Avengers. We run under government again and we need confirmation of missions unless it's a rescue mission or aliens are involved and even then we need to tell a representative what we're doing. We have new, younger members, more members and other people to pacify. I will not trust any of you again and you will all have to really think about your actions instead of running head first into a fight. There is no way to change this,"  
"Why are we back in the tower?" Asked Sam.  
"The other base has been transformed into a school for the inhumans, children and adults who want safety and training," Vision informs him.  
"That was our home," Wanda gasps.  
"And you left it. Now it is theirs," Rhodey pipes in.  
"Am I the only one who can feel the awkward in the air?" Scott asks, Tony laughs.  
"That won't leave any time soon. You won't be put on missions until you are integrated into my group, until we can work as a team," Tony states, standing up, T'Challa does too.  
"Training starts tomorrow at 9, don't be late," Tony tells them and T'Challa leads him out.  
"Why did T'Challa leave with Stark?" Clint asks.  
"Didn't you know?" Kamala starts and Rhodey jumps.  
"They're married," she finishes, just as Rhodes goes to put his hand over her mouth. The other team gape.  
"That was a trusted secret, Kam," Rhodey tells her.  
"Oh, we all know, I thought with them being on the team-" she trails off.  
"I could not have called that," Sam states.  
-  
The rogues go down to the training floor after breakfast together the next morning. Tony is the only one there, he isn't in the armour.  
The entire floor is a massive battle simulator, using holograms, robots and dummy.  
"You're here first?" Asks Scott.  
"I'm the leader, I set the example," Tony states simply.  
"Huh, where's the armour?" Asks Wanda.  
"We discuss the target and strategy first, then I'll call the armour," is answered.  
"We've seen on the news, there's a change of colour scheme," Natasha states.  
"Yep, Rhodey is back to blue and sliver. Iron Man is now black," he monotoned in reply.  
"Why?" Asked Clint.  
"I needed a step back and to step up at the same time," he starts "I needed a step back from being Tony Stark, it was too much on top of all the work, having the armour less flashy almost helped. I also needed to lead, I needed to be more powerful than ever and well, the red eyes are quite intimidating," Tony tells them as his team start to trickle in.

They keep the simulation simple.  
It still goes awfully.  

Steve can't follow orders and keeps giving them out, only half the time useful. Lots of the abilities don't mesh well and the team's can't trust the other to catch them, they try their best to though.  
It will take a lot of time, Tony thinks.  
-  
"So you're married to Tony," Clint starts, looking at the king across the breakfast table, T'Challa had come to see them all.  
"Yes,"  
"How long?" Asked Steve.  
"Fourteen years," he tells them, "but we've been together since I was 17," the others gape.  
"How?" Natasha asks, "how could you have met?"  
"My father was on a very rare trip to the U.S., how brought me with him as training. I met Tony at a high society gala, he was alone as his parents were already dead, I was 16 and bored. He was 20 and drunk. He was playing with a bunch of kids in a corner and I thought it looked more entertaining. We just kept in touch," he tells the story.  
-  
Laura has a riot yelling at Clint for being a dick. He still blames Tony.

Vision doesn't accept Wanda's apology, he asks her to move on from it. She seems upset for a few days but carries on.

They take Barnes out of cryo, he understands what Tony felt and so Tony trusts him with the BARF technology. Tony and Sam help him work through the memories where the programming was worse and triggered. It will take a long time to break it completely. At least the glasses don't actually alter the brain.

Scott talks to Hank who is supremely unimpressed with his use of the suit. He manages to persuade the older man into keeping it.  
"What changed your mind about Stark?" He asks.  
"I met him, he is nothing like his father in regards to science and proud of it,"

Rhodes and Sam form a wonderful friendship as veterans, even though Rhodey is more angry than Tony about what happened in Siberia.

The Avengers have an outing in Wakanda and Steve and Tony have an argument. One of the Dora Milaje punches Steve in the face, his nose breaks and she tells him to hold the queen of Wakanda in higher regard.  
Clint tells Tony to stop being so superficial, 'Queen' he laughs. T'Challa tells him he didn't want a title as flimsy as consort for his beloved.  
-  
It takes eight months for them to get through a major simulation with only minor injuries and a working team.  
Rogers and Natasha follow orders, Kamala let's Sam catch her  
Tony whoops joyfully and high fives Rhodey in the suit. The instigated team dinner is celebratory pizza and Tony tells them they can go on missions. Steve smiles at him and for the first time, Tony doesn't glare.  
At least it wasn't my heart, Tony remembers. Thinks he won't ever forget but at least it's a start.

**Author's Note:**

> I can pretty much ship Tony with everyone, I have favourites (Bruce, Rhodey) but can get behind almost any ship. However, I can't really ship him with Steve, I just think there would be too much Howard there.  
> Also I'm pretending Tony's a bit younger so the age gap is about four years, Tony's about 36? At the start.I don't know how old T'Challa really is.  
> -fairiesteel.tumblr.com


End file.
